(Dis)content (Judgement of the Six Book 5) Read online

  I ducked under Brick’s next swing and came back with a punch to his jaw. Something crunched, and I wanted to cringe for him. Brick staggered back a step and shook his head. I didn’t press him. Instead, I gave him a moment to clear the hit.

  From the corner of my eye, I noticed the repetitious movement of a dark-haired man near the fence, but I didn’t look away from Brick. His gaze looked a little unfocused, and I hoped I hadn’t done any real damage. I still had a lot to drain. Sometimes, if a single fight wasn’t enough to empty everything, I called out to the crowd for another contender. I might need to do that with Brick. He’d taken enough of a beating. The guy pacing beside the cage might be up for a round or two.

  Brick brought his gloves back up and stepped toward me. A low growl, barely loud enough to hear over the noise, reached me. I turned to look and met the deep brown eyes of the tall, dark-haired man. My stomach dipped at the sight of him.

  Just as I was registering the details of the stranger’s strong, clean-shaven jaw, Brick swung and knocked my lights loose.

  Time slowed as my head snapped back. Something crashed against the fence. I barely heard it over the ringing in my ears. I widened my stance to stay upright and saw one of the brackets pull from the ceiling before I straightened. Stunned, my gaze followed the dust down as I automatically brought my fists up.

  I expected more from Brick, but he wasn’t moving toward me. He wasn’t looking at me, either. Something crashed against the cage again. Then, I saw it.

  The metal of the cage bent inward as a huge dog crashed against the fence again and again. It didn’t look at me. It only looked at Brick, who stared back at it blankly. I’d hit him too hard. I must have. Maybe Brick had hit me too hard, too.

  Ethan shouted my name as a few more of the brackets tore from the ceiling. A memory surfaced of a video I’d seen earlier that year. A man had been attacked by a dog, just about the same size as the one that crashed against the cage. When the dog had fled, there’d been little left of the man. The memory shook me free.

  “Brick, move!” I yelled, trying to jar him from his stupor.

  I gave the man a shove toward the door, then ran past him when he showed no interest in saving himself. People in the main bar were screaming and running for the exit. Chaos reigned beyond the cage—every man for himself. Worried for Ethan, I pushed through the door to the hall so hard that it bounced back on me and banged my left shoulder.

  The rhythmic slamming of the cage stopped as I stumbled out into the service hall and eyed my options. The employee entrance was too close to the dog. I’d need to go out to the alley, then circle around to the front to get Ethan.

  Claws screeched on the employee door, and I almost tripped over myself in my rush toward the back exit. Behind me, the door shuddered as something hit it with enough force to make the metal groan. My heart stopped, and I twisted to look over my shoulder. I was still alone. But for how long? A burst of adrenaline helped me reach the end of the hall.

  The cold metal exit bar of the back door gave way, and I flew outside, startling a few of the users who lingered amongst the trash. I pulled emotions from them as I ran past, fueling myself. The people sagged. I didn’t stop running or pulling. I might need it to get to Ethan.

  Ahead, the mouth of the alley beckoned. Already, people from the club ran past on the street. Screaming and shouting filled the air, along with my own rapid breathing and the pounding of my feet on the pavement.

  Before I reached the mouth of the alley, the door burst open behind me. Taking a risk, I looked back. Just in time, too. The dog flew at me, knocking me backwards. I lifted my arms to block its snapping jaws as I fell to the ground under its weight. My head hit the blacktop with a burst of pain, and I lost my breath a second time.

  My ears rang. I gave my head a tiny shake and blinked as I looked up at my hands. They weren’t braced on fur but a human arm. I blinked again, trying to focus. Beyond the snarling face and snapping teeth, I met the light grey gaze of an older man. He had wrapped his arm around the thing’s neck in an attempted chokehold.

  “Run,” he said. The man pulled back, straining to win me some wiggle room.

  The thing on top of me roared and tried shaking the man off, but it didn’t budge from its position. Its front paws rested on the pavement, boxing me in, and its chest pressed me down. How did the man expect me to run?

  I focused on the dog. I’d never tried pulling emotions from an animal before. But now, I stretched out my senses. I felt the worry of the man holding the beast but nothing from the beast itself.

  “Get off me.” I punctuated my words with a swing to its elongated nose. I connected and had the satisfaction of hearing its teeth click together.

  It grunted, and the man above gave an extra heave. I had room to breathe. More than that, I had room to run. Twisting to my stomach, I pulled myself free.

  When I won my way to my feet, I didn’t look back. I ran to the mouth of the alley. If the thing had followed me, Ethan was safe. I wasn’t.

  Most of the people had already fled. I bolted across the street, almost knocking over two girls dressed in shoes not made for running, and slid into my car. The engine roared to life as I pressed the gas pedal to the floor and left behind a blue-grey cloud of exhaust, a path of burnt rubber, and my best friend.

  * * * *

  Heart still thundering, I burst into my apartment. I locked the door and backed my way to the kitchen before I tried to start breathing normally. My keys fell to the floor, and I yanked the note from the fridge and read it again and again. Not human. My mind stuck on that phrase.

  A man had been pacing beside the cage. When Brick had hit me, that man had changed. No, not man. It definitely was not human. Had it hurt anyone? Crap. Ethan. I patted my backside for my phone. I’d left it in my bag. The bag I’d dropped behind the bar. I shook inside and out. I needed a phone. I needed to check on Ethan. I needed to run and hide like the letter said.

  There wasn’t much in my stark apartment that I needed. I went to my closet, grabbed a bag, and started throwing clothes into it. Five minutes after storming my way in, I was ready to run out.

  A knock startled me as I reached for the knob. My breath rushed out of me, and for a moment, I did nothing. Another sharp knock. I leaned forward and looked through the peephole. The familiar face had me yanking the door open.

  “Ethan.” A sob escaped me as I dropped my bag and threw my arms around him.

  He caught me and held me close.

  “I was so scared. Are you hurt?” he asked, pulling back. He looked me over and frowned at something he saw on my face. With a finger, he gently brushed my jaw. It felt tender.

  “Brick caught you good,” he said.

  Screw Brick.

  “What was that thing?”

  He let go and moved to come in. I stopped him.

  “No. I can’t stay here. Let’s go to your place.”

  He gave me a worried look.

  “You sure?”

  I nodded. He picked up my bag and held out a hand. Against my better judgement, I took it. I felt very little coming from him, though.

  We walked around the back of the building to the parking lot. In the dark, everything seemed scarier. My heart continued to pound, and I was glad Ethan was with me. He opened my car door; but before I could get in, he wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and pulled me close. I let out a shaky breath and laid my head against his chest. I felt the steady thump of his heart under his shirt.

  “I thought I lost you tonight,” he said.

  He smoothed a hand over my hair, and I winced. He must have felt it because he dropped his arms, stepped back, and looked at me with concern. I reached up to gently probe the area on the back of my head. A large bump pulsed there.

  “You almost did,” I said, thinking of the beast that had brought me down. “But I’m fine now. I’ll follow you. We’ll talk when we get there.”

  He nodded and waited by the car until I closed the door.


  * * * *

  We pulled up to a small, boxcar house. Rusted pieces of metal that used to be parts of vehicles littered the dead lawn. Ethan’s dad’s house wasn’t out of place in this neighborhood.

  Ethan parked on the street and got out to wait for me as I parked. At this time of night, the neighborhood was quiet. Everyone was either high or already passed out. I grabbed my bag and joined him.

  He offered his hand again.

  “Better not,” I said.

  Ethan nodded, then followed me toward the house. I let myself in and smiled at Mr. Petnu. Regret poured from him when he saw me.

  “Izza, whatcha doing here?” His words were slow, but he watched me closely.

  “Hi, Mr. Petnu. I thought I’d stay for a while, if that’s okay.” I moved aside, so Ethan could step into the cramped room.

  “You know it is. Want my bed?” Hope flavored the air.

  “Um, no thanks.” I waved a hand farewell and moved down the little hall to Ethan’s cramped room.

  A full-size bed just fit between the two walls, leaving no room on the sides and only two feet between the end of the bed and the closet. The bed was neatly made, and the closet doors were closed. I knew if I opened them, I would see all of Ethan’s clothes tidily hung or folded.

  “Explain to me again why you live here?” I said, setting my bag on the narrow dresser squeezed in between the end of the bed and the closet.

  “I’m waiting for him to kick it so I can claim my inheritance.”

  Ethan never answered seriously. I flopped back on his bed, and he joined me. We lay together, looking up at the stained, foam-tiled ceiling.

  “He asks about you all the time,” he said, and I knew he meant his father. “He wants to know when I’ll marry you and actually make something of myself.”

  “You still haven’t told him about the bar?”

  Ethan snorted. “He doesn’t give a damn about what I do with my life, only who I settle down with.”

  It wasn’t even that. Mr. Petnu wanted me to be with Ethan. Just me. Ethan’s father wanted us to live there with him. I would be his permanent high. Cheaper and better than anything he could buy. And, that was the reason I wouldn’t hold Ethan’s hand coming in. If his father saw, he’d think it meant we were finally together.

  “All the more reason to leave,” I said before changing subjects. “Tell me what you saw.”

  “I was watching the fight and filling drinks. People kept coming in as usual. I didn’t pay them any attention until that guy walked up to the cage.”

  He turned his head. I turned mine to meet his serious gaze.

  “He changed. One minute a man, the next...”

  I nodded.

  “Yeah. That’s what I thought. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t something new someone lit up in there.”

  Something flickered in Ethan’s expression a moment before he closed the gap between us and pressed his lips to mine. All night, he’d kept himself closed off. I’d only caught hints of emotions from him, nothing long enough to taste. As his lips pressed against mine, though, some of them escaped. Desire. Fear. Love. He pulled back.

  “I love you.”

  His words pierced my heart. Everything he felt for me drifted around us. It was a heady emotional mix that I wanted to drown in.

  I pulled away and touched his face.

  “I love you, too, just not that way.”

  He closed himself off once more.

  “Because you’ve never tried.”

  “And I never will.”

  He shut his eyes with a pained and sorrowful expression.

  “Did you feel anything tonight?”

  It wouldn’t do any good to pretend I didn’t understand what he meant. This was a talk we’d had before. He thought, if he could keep his emotions locked around me, it meant we had a chance to be something more together.

  “Don’t lie and say you did. I know you didn’t.”

  “Just now I did. When we’re alone. When there are no distractions. When you’re the only one I have to pull from. It will always be this way, Ethan. You know that. I have to be alone. I have to isolate myself.” I turned to my side and held his face. He opened his eyes. Hurt filled them. “If I don’t, I die.”

  “What if—”

  “No, Ethan. I won’t risk draining you. You’re too important to me. You’re the only friend I have. God, look at my parents.”

  My parents weren’t much better than his. I’d broken them. Just by living with them as a kid. And, if I let myself love Ethan, like he wanted, if I spent every day of my life with him like he wanted, I’d eventually kill him. I would never be with anyone that way. Just holding hands on my first and only date had left that boy lying limp on the floor. Deep down, Ethan knew I would never do as he wanted. I loved him too much for that.

  I sat up.

  “I’m going to use your shower, then turn in.”

  He nodded but didn’t move.

  “I’ll take the couch.”

  “Thanks.”

  Two

  After just a few hours, I couldn’t take it anymore. The fight with Brick had been cut short, leaving me with emotions I didn’t want. Now, Ethan’s father snored loudly from his room, emanating too many emotions even in his sleep. I needed a break.

  I tossed back the covers and scooted out of bed. My runners were side by side in Ethan’s closet. He’d put them there while I’d showered. I laced them up and eased open his bedroom door. With soft steps, I crept past Ethan on the couch and gently opened the front door.

  The encroaching sun had lightened the sky outside from black to not quite black. I shut the door behind me and breathed in the air. It wasn’t fresh. In fact, it stank like rotten garbage and exhaust. But it was free of heavy emotion, and I breathed easy. The pavement called to me, and I jogged from the yard.

  An hour later, I returned out of breath and bruised. I thought I might have even had a black eye. The idea just made my grin bigger. Jogging in Ethan’s neighborhood was great.

  The front door opened as I stretched and cooled down.

  “Good run?” Ethan asked.

  “The best. I may have convinced a few wannabe thugs to go to school today.”

  He laughed and offered me his coffee, which I took gratefully.

  “So, what will the unemployed do today?”

  “What are you going to do?” I asked, instead of answering. I hadn’t given my lack of employment any thought. All night, my mind had kept replaying the scene from Ethan’s place...the hit to my face, the cage bending inward, the teeth snapping at me.

  “I have to go clean up,” he said, and I knew he meant the bar.

  “No.” The word came out panicked, and I took a breath to calm myself. “You can’t go back there. Not yet.”

  “What choice do I have? One of us needs a job.”

  He said it to tease me, but I didn’t laugh. He didn’t know; he didn’t understand.

  “I need to show you something.”

  I went into the house and grabbed the letter I’d shoved into my bag. When I turned, he was in the bedroom doorway, watching me. I handed the piece of paper to him, not saying anything. His eyes skimmed the page. He frowned and read it again.

  “Shit.”

  Fear poured from him, his shock robbing him of control.

  “Yeah.” I sat on the bed.

  “What are we going to do?”

  I loved him for that. It wasn’t my problem; it was ours. And I knew the fear he wasn’t able to suppress wasn’t for himself. It was for me. But, I couldn’t pull him down with me. I wouldn’t.

  “I’m going to the bank, taking out everything I have, and doing what the note says. I need you to stay here.”

  He lowered himself to the mattress beside me. I’d expected an argument, but he sat there quietly for a moment, closing himself off emotionally as he stared at his hands.

  “Want to know why I stay with him?” he asked quietly.

  His question was unexpected. T
hough something about his tone had me worrying about what he would say, I nodded.

  “You have your parents. They love you completely. You stay away from them to protect them, just like you do for me. But I saw...” He exhaled slowly. “Remember the day you came home with me?” He gave a pained laugh. “Your mom had put pigtails in your hair so it wouldn’t fall in your face when we fought on the playground. I stood behind you, staring at your hair and cringing when you told my dad never to hit me again.”

  I remembered confronting Mr. Petnu. Ethan and I had both still been in grade school when I finally figured out why Ethan was angry all the time. I could still feel the rage that had consumed me as I’d stood before Mr. Petnu.

  Ethan looked up at me before he continued.

  “And when he fell to the floor, I wanted to cry I was so happy. But not you. Hurting him to protect me had hurt you. I remember how you’d whispered ‘I broke him.’ You didn’t, though, Z. You fixed him. I’ve stayed because I never wanted you to regret what you did for me.”

  I couldn’t speak around the tightness in my throat.

  “All you’ve ever wanted was a friend. That’s who I am. And that’s why I’ll follow you. Because there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, and no one else I’d rather be with.”

  It hurt so much. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I threw my arms around him. He held me close while I fought not to cry. I was the reason he’d stayed with his dad. But, by staying his friend, I’d trapped him in more than just his home. He would stay with me to face the creatures the letter mentioned. I recalled the teeth of the thing that had brought me to the ground and knew Ethan would have no chance if they found me again. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to let him go.

  “You are my best friend,” I said with a tight voice. Finally, I pulled back. “I want one promise from you.”

  “Anything.”

  “If I tell you to run, you go...or I’ll make you go. Run and find someone perfect and sweet who hates violence. Have lots of babies and name one after me. Okay?”

  He closed his eyes and turned away before he nodded.

  “Life should have been kinder and made you my brother,” I said.